Thursday, July 5, 2018

Celebrating Our Independence...While We Still Have It

Hope y'all had a great 4th of July. Collin and I celebrated in the most logical way we could think of: hot dogs, fried chicken, apple pie--and a Captain America film festival. 




Oh, come on--what's more American than Captain America?

I like barbecue, but Collin doesn't, so we settled on hot dogs and fried chicken. No, I didn't fry the chicken. We thought the guys at the fire department might like a day off. Besides, I prefer chicken that's edible. Nuking hot dogs in the microwave--now that I can do. Sometimes. Potato salad? Didn't do that myself, either. Got it at Sam's Club.  The apple pies--hand pies, actually--came from Church's, along with the chicken.

I'm still a Hopalong Casualty, as Collin can testify. I have two bad knees, one arm that only operates at 50% (folding sheets, taking showers and washing my hair are real challenges). The walker helps as far as venturing out into the real world. And my brain pretty much does what it wants to. If it wants me to write, I can write. If not, well, I go full couch potato.

We skipped Fair St. Louis, as we do every year. I have a thing about crowds and pickpockets. There were plenty of fireworks--even though they're illegal in St. Louis County, neighbors up the street celebrated with a bang. Literally. I told Collin I didn't think the birds, rabbits or squirrels would be around this morning.

So...how did you (Americans) celebrate? 

Friday, June 29, 2018

It Was in the Last Place I Looked....

While going through all the "treasures" in our storeroom in search of stuff that might be worth a few bucks to the aforementioned church rummage sale, I found this--a tape of a radio interview I did 28 years ago! Check out the date....


Now to find a way to convert the tape to digital format. Is this even possible? Does anyone sell cassette players anymore? Even Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy now has a Zune (oh, stop laughing!).

I did so many interviews-- radio, TV and print--I don't remember every detail of every interview. What I do recall about this one in particular, to promote A Time for Legends (currently available as The Unicorn's Daughter) was that I was interviewed by J.C. Corchoran, who was doing the show from home, and his then-on-air partner, Joe "Mama" Mason. J.C. was quite possibly the only one in St. Louis who pissed off more people than I did. Mason was wearing a Superman T-shirt and had marked passages in a copy of my novel with Post-It notes labeled "sex."

You can guess what direction that interview took.

My first radio interview took place at an outdoor cafe because there had been a fire in their studio. As the interview began, a group of birds decided to fight over our heads, chirping loudly. Without thinking, I said, "Does this mean my book is for the birds?"

I have VHS tapes of some of my old TV interviews somewhere. I haven't watched any of them in years. To be honest, I cringe at the thought.

Postscript: Collin found an inexpensive device--a cassette player with USB port--on Amazon. As soon as it arrives, I'll be posting the audio of the interview here....


Thursday, June 28, 2018

I'm Ready for the Indy 500 (Feet)

Yep, it's come to this. I now own a walker--not a loaner. Mine. It's an early birthday present from Collin. Nice, huh? And it has cupholders! There are two, because he needs one for his cup. 

 
I seem to have become a world class klutz. Falling on the floor was one thing. The torn rotator cuff was showing some progress--until I tripped in our laundry room while moving stuff from the storeroom for our church's rummage sale.

I crashed into the wall. My left shoulder, the one with the torn rotator cuff, hit hard. Feels like I'm back to square one. Ouch!

At least I managed to avert a faceplant on a floor that was overdue for a date with Miss Mop. This is what I get for years of making fun of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" ads on TV. 

I wanted a geezer scooter, but both my primary care doctor and my orthopedic surgeon vetoed that idea. "I never let my patients get  scooters," Dr. B. told me. "It shortens your lifespan. You turn into a plant."

I'm already a plant--a Venus Flytrap!

Dr. Z. says he only approves scooters for patients heading for nursing homes. "Have you picked on out yet?" he asked.

At first, I thought he was asking if I'd picked out a scooter. I had--a scooter built for two, so Collin could drive. Then, I realized he was asking if I'd chosen a nursing home! 



My orthopedic doctor approved me for a walker because my knees are, as he put it, pretty bad. Life can change so quickly--just a few short years ago, I was being mistaken for Collin's wife or girlfriend or sister. I still don't have any wrinkles, but let's face it--nothing says "old" like cruising around with a walker, even if it does have cupholders!

Maybe I should be doing TV ads for Life Alert....

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

No, I Haven't Fallen off the Face of the Earth (Yet)

How long have I been missing in action now? I've lost track.

Having a torn rotator cuff turned out to be a bigger problem than I expected, Using the computer was uncomfortable because Collin's desk chair has armrests. That might not sound like a problem, but it is. It places the arm in an uncomfortable position. At least it was for mine. Using my phones or tablets have also been an issue. I've had to adapt to doing simple things like putting on or taking off a T-shirt, washing my hair, and taking things out of the microwave.

No fun. 

I managed to keep posting on Facebook and Twitter and doing email, but it hasn't been easy. A few minutes here, a few minutes there...most of my posts here are going to be stuff I've already posted on Facebook. How's that for lazy?

Being one of the walking wounded has reminded me of something else, too. I suck at schedules. I couldn't keep a deadline these days to save my life--literally. So, with five active blogs, I'll say it again--I'll be posting when I have something to say.

Collin made a new friend at the cinema.
Rex invited him to (be) lunch.


Collin and I ventured out to see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom yesterday. (Sounds like Donald Trump's biography, doesn't it? He's a dinosaur and his world is starting to crumble, depending on where you get your news.)  But this movie stars dinosaurs I like: Blue the raptor, T-Rex (who needs no introduction) and Stiggy, the comic relief dino in an otherwise dark movie. (I can't wait to see Ant-Man and the Wasp next week, just for something light and fun!)

Now to get back to catching up on blog reading.... 




Monday, June 4, 2018

Take This Job and...Okay, Maybe I Shouldn't Say That....

This probably won't be news to those of you who know Collin or me on Facebook, but I'm betting Collin will be unemployed by the end of this week.

 
A recap, for anyone not familiar with the history: a couple of years ago, he started having problems staying on his feet at work. He liked restaurant work, for some unfathomable reason. He liked his bosses, liked most of his co-workers and customers. But when he could no longer maintain his regular schedule, he had to see the orthopedic surgeon--whose staff find it amusing that Dr. Z. gets us on a rotating schedule of sorts. First, it was me, then Collin, then me, then Collin. Anyway, Dr. Z. advised Collin to look for a job that would not require him to be on his feet all day. I suggested a work from home job. He found one, did it for several months--but when he thought his arthritis was cured, he quit and went back to IHOP.

Big mistake.

Within a few months, he was in bad shape again. By the time he got home from work, he could barely walk from the living room to the bathroom--and our place isn't really all that big. He had to leave the restaurant again. His previous employer didn't have any openings, so he signed on with another work from home company. And he did it without thoroughly checking them out first.

Again, big mistake. Huge.

It seemed like a good job at first. Full benefits, regular hours, no need for going out in bad weather to get to work. Then came the mandatory overtime. His supervisor is a jerk. And, to quote other employees' reviews at Indeed.com, supervisors are abusive and human resources alters between sadistic practices and planning for happy hour. 

This company is based in Sunnyvale, California--change the V to a D and you have Sunnydale, the location of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Makes sense now. Collin is working for a bunch of bloodsuckers!

Last week, he had to log off an hour early because our air conditioning went on the fritz and maintenance had to come in to repair it. The power had to be shut off during part of the repair process, but Collin's boss told him that was not an acceptable reason for logging off. Maybe in Sunnydale--I mean Sunnyvale--computers don't need electricity?

He had to take Friday off a couple of weeks ago to go with me to a doctor appointment after that nasty fall. There are two more coming up--this Friday and Thursday next week.  Next week won't be a problem (Collin is off on Thursdays), but this week's appointment was scheduled long before he started this job. He gave them plenty of advance notice--but late last week, they abruptly informed him he could not have the day off. I can't reschedule the appointment, and I can't go alone (doctor's orders). So Collin is taking the day off, with or without their approval--which, according to the comments made by other employees, means he will be terminated.

Anybody know of any job openings?

 

Monday, May 28, 2018

The Real Perverts....

This could be the start of something...uh, not big...weird...yeah, maybe weird. There are, after all, more than three perverts in Hollywood. There are enough perverts in Hollywood for at least a dozen seasons.


Then there are The Real Perverts of Washington DC. That ought to be good for at least another ten seasons.

Bill it as the unreal reality series. Follow it with a 2018 version of Cops. And maybe a show involving life in prison....

No, not Orange is the New Black.

How about Perverts are the New Prison Bitches?

Nope, scratch that. Who'd want to follow these idiots past the sentencing phase?

Friday, May 25, 2018

I Know This Isn't Monday, But....

I've finally done it. All five blogs are up and running--hope you'll check them out.

Monday:
My first regular posts of the week will be here, along with any special announcements, confessions, etc.


 
Tuesday:
An Army of Angels
https://anarmyofangels.thethreersrantsravesandoccasionalreflections.com/ 
Fiction. An expanded version of my novel Chasing the Wind, also featuring some new characters as well as some from three of my past books.


 
Wednesday:
Superhero in Training
http://superherointraining.thethreersrantsravesandoccasionalreflections.com/ 
Fiction; comedy about a canine hero and his human sidekick




Thursday: 
Riding out the Storm
http://ridingoutthestorm.thethreersrantsravesandoccasionalreflections.com/ 
My memoir 



Friday:
Sam's Story
https://samsstory.thethreersrantsravesandoccasionalreflections.com/
The life and times of my parakeet Sam; observations on life, love and the dumb things we humans do