Monday, October 11, 2010

If You're Not "Lost" You Soon Will Be....

William and I have an arrangement from our days at MySpace: when I get messages from men hitting on me, he chases them away, and when he gets the same from women, I get to deal with them. A couple of days ago, he found a love note from someone calling themselves "Kate Desmond" posted to his Writers Digest profile page. He turned her over to me. I sent the following e-mail message to her e-mail address:

Hello there, s***!

You're in the wrong place. I think you're looking for My Space. This is Writers Digest, not the Losers Dating Page.

Before you so blatantly hit on a guy, you might want to find out if he's available. William isn't. He showed me your pathetic little message and told me I could say whatever I wanted to you, so here it is: back off, you little tramp. 

And this is the response I just received....

firstly I am very sorry for my late response to Your Email,I thank you for your reaction to mine email; Enline with the message, which I have sent to you.How was your night over there in your country,i believe you had a nice night and that the arthmosphere over there in your country is very nice today? Mine is a little bit warm over here in Dakar Senegal.My name is kate Desmond i am (24) but age doesn't matter in a real relationship, so i am confortable with your age,I am from Rwanda in East Africa ,5.4ft tall, light in complexion single,(never married ) and presently i am residing here in Dakar as a result of the civil war that was fought  in my country some years ago.
My late father Dr Philip Desmond; was a politician and the managing director of a Gold & Mine Ind in Kigali (the capital of Rwanda) before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed my mother and my father in cold blood.It was only me that is alive now and I managed to make my way to a near by country Senegal where i am leaving now as a refugee under a Reverend-Pastor's care and i am using his computer to send these message to you.I would like to know more about you. Your likes and dislikes,PLAESE Do to not be offended for  this message that come;s from me please, fair which to me obliged to put simple trust on you due to my situation here as the refugee and I shall demand most your conscientiousness after yours to know about me, I shall really grow fond we to have good inspite attitudes therefore I have this as a trust which i belive that you can not betray it at the  end. I have communicated you because of  my difficaute situation here in this refugees camp;Its just like one staying in the prison and i hope by Gods grace i will come out here soon.
i don't have any relatives now whom i can go to all my relatives ran away in the middle of the war the only person i have now is  Rev- partric Devine,who is the pastor of the (CHRIST DE SAVIORMISSION) here in the camp he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i am leaving in the women's hostel because the camp have two hostels one for men the other for women.
The Pastors Tel number is (+221 772538321 ) if you call tell him that you want to speak with me he will send for me in the hostel.As a refugee here i don't have any right or privilledge to any thing be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country.My Dearest,please I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the traggic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place.
Please listen to this(please it's a secret,even no one knows about it eccept the Reverend that knows about it),i have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which i will send to you latter,because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading Foreign bank which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $6.7(Six Million Seven Hundred Thousand USDollars).So i will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my travelling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father to me.So in the light of above i will like you to keep it to  yourself and don't tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it.
Remember i am giving you all this information due to the trust i deposed on you.I like honest and understanding people,truthful and a man of vision,hardworking and GOD fearing people.My favourite language is english but our language is french but i speak english very fluently.Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said i have alot to tell you Attached here is my picture.I will send you more in my next mail.Have a nice day and think about me.
Awaiting to hear from you soonest.
Yours in love,
Miss Kate

She looks pretty darn good for a refugee, doesn't she?


  1. She doesn't have that beat-down, orphan, prisoner, refugee look to her. I guess she's making the rounds of men on Writer's Digest?

  2. It's like one of those spam messages saying that you won the Nigerian Lottery and to contact Mr.Edward What-The-Hell-Ever with your personal information.

  3. @ Karla: She doesn't look distressed at all. I'm pretty sure I've seen her somewhere before.

    @ Mike: And some idiots actually do it!

  4. I suspect she was seen clubbing at all the posh parties in Manhattan all weekend.

  5. Yes--on money she conned unsuspecting men into providing for her....

  6. Oh my goodness, do people really fall for this stuff? But it's obvious that the message is on auto-reply.

    I've gotten at least four "love letters" from both men and women through Writer's Digest. So far I've just ignored them.


Spammers and scammers will be deleted.