No, not the one made by the guys who actually know what they're talking about. This commentary comes to you from someone who does not follow football...or baseball, hockey or basketball, for that matter. Yes, I did watch the Super Bowl last night. I watched for the ads. A lot of people do, you know.
There was that pint-sized Darth Vader...the pug vs. the idiot with the Doritos...the collection of images from old TV shows...not the best year for Super Bowl ads, but pretty good. I used to work for a major advertising agency, and I saw some damn good work there, so even though I tend to think of commercials as time outs for trips to the kitchen or the loo, I'll actually record the standouts.
As for the game, I knew the score at any given time because--duh!--it's always posted in the corner of the TV screen. Did I understand it? Nope. I'm surprised I haven't been run out of St. Louis for that. St. Louis is a big sports town. To show you how seriously St. Louisans take sports, consider this: years ago, when the football Rams came to St. Louis, they were pathetic. (I suspect Los Angeles paid St. Louis to take them, though no one in either city will ever admit to it.) That year, when Collin chose his winter coat, he chose a yellow and blue insulated jacket with a hood--and the Rams logo.
As I was saying, the Rams sucked...and the fans were very unhappy with them. And I'm not a fan, but I did like Collin's jacket. It was a very warm jacket, and I was always borrowing it when I took the dog for a walk, so Mom bought me one of my own for Christmas. It was the last Christmas gift she bought for me. It almost got me stoned (and no I'm not talking marijuana). When Collin and I would walk down a street, any street, people would shout some very unkind things at us. I wondered when they'd start throwing things....
Fortunately for us, that all changed in 2000, when the Rams won the Super Bowl and that first sign of the Apocalypse was verified. Seriously. One local radio station ran a TV promo featuring a lave lamp and a bunch of cliches, like: When pigs fly...when hell freezes over...when the Rams win the Super Bowl. Whereupon the pleasant music comes to a screeching halt and on the TV screen: Ooops!
After that, passing motorists cheered when we came out in our Rams jackets. Then the team changed their colors and we became outdated. But that's okay. The jackets wore out long ago and were retired.
Will the Rams win another Super Bowl? Sorry, St. Louis. I think we'll see the Second Coming before we see that.