We've all known at least one: the co-worker who talks nonstop about himself and his abilities, which are always superior to anyone else's...the relative who ruins the family reunion with tales of all of his adventures (most of which never happened)...the total stranger on that long, long flight (or at least it seemed that way) who wouldn't shut up, oblivious to the fact that you couldn't care less about his streaming BS.
They're the ones who make you want to throttle them. They're the spoilers who ruin every event they attend. They're the guys who can clear the water cooler area with amazing speed.
In the movie Big Fish, the relationship between Edward Bloom and his son is severely damaged by his endless stories of his larger-than-life exploits. Only when Edward is near death do the two reconcile. A cautionary tale?
I went to high school with a girl who talked incessantly about herself. No matter what you did, she'd done it better. She had no interest in anyone else other than as an audience. If you did manage to get off the topic of her, she would immediately turn it back. I saw her again after several years and was anxious to let her know that I was now a published author, a goal we'd both aspired to. She refused to even acknowledge it.
William and I met a woman online who, no matter what either of us mentioned doing, would respond with, "Oh, me too! I've done (had/experienced) that!" I distanced myself from her when every conversation started to feel like a competition.
This woman was so self-absorbed that when she read an erotica piece I wrote for William, she immediately concluded that he was the male protagonist and the female character was her. She said she had even told friends I was playing matchmaker between them. (I revised the piece and made the woman a blonde and the gem in her engagement ring a sapphire instead of a ruby, which was brunette A's birthstone. Why she'd think I would make her the heroine in any story remains a mystery to me.)
And then there's the worst and most recent offender--a jerk in the Writers Digest online community. He became such an annoyance that several people threatened to leave the site. He's not a lawyer, but gave legal advice. He's never been published, nor does he work in the publishing industry, yet he's always professing expertise in long, rambling posts that are usually insulting to other posters. Complaints have been made against him to site administrators.
For some of us, he's become the favorite butt of our jokes. If I were a betting person--and I am--I'd bet this guy will never sell his work, in spite of his nonstop attempts to dazzle everyone with his "brilliance."
He's just too boring.