Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Pepe LePew Syndrome

I'm curious. Why is it automatically assumed that if you're into social networking, you have to be looking to hook up?



For years, I had a MySpace account. I'd only set it up so I could start a blog, but I received regular messages in my inbox from guys--some personal, but most sounding suspiciously like a message that was sent out to every female on the site in the hope the sender would get a few nibbles on his line. 

When William started his blog there, he got relationship spam the first day: a PM from a young woman claiming he was the one for her. She was willing to relocate, anything for him.

Him and probably 5000 guys who received that same message.



We don't miss My Space. We don't see that sort of crap on Blogspot. The worst nuisance we've seen here so far is that dopey guy who goes around posting messages to follow HIS blog. As if we actually might. Don't hold your breath, buddy.

Facebook has a few relationship spammers, but overall is fairly creep-free. I've had to deal with someone from my past who seems to think because he read one of my novels years ago, I'm obligated to put everything else aside and arrange an in-person meeting with him. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy meeting people who have read my books, but this fellow seems to think he's special to me. And that makes me a little nervous.



William has the funniest tale of unrequited lust--though at the moment, he's not finding it at all amusing. William, who just turned thirty, is the object of affection of a sixty-five-year-old grandmother who makes no secret of her, uh, how do I put this, hots for him. I commented on what I thought was a harmless crush, only to get a response that had us both wondering just how much of a problem she might become. 


It can be tough for a young guy, having his buddies making fun of him because he's got an old lady crushing on him.

We only signed on at Facebook to create a presence there and promote our work. All right, a lot of lonely people look for Mr. or Ms. Right online. We did not. Not all of us are here to hook up. Please, be sure the person you've got in your crosshairs is interested before you begin active pursuit...or like Pepe LePew, that poor, lovelorn skunk, you could find yourself in an endless pursuit of a frantic cat who only wants to get away from you.



Being rejected is no fun, whether it's face-to-face or in cyberspace....

33 comments:

  1. LOL! Go William! Get some of that old lady ass. Lol. Well, another reason I left the WD forum is that I started getting a ton of personal emails from three different guys. And then there's my verbal diarreah...I can't help but make dirty jokes and flirt innapropriately sometimes just for the hell of it, which of course does not translate well w/out sarcasm.

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  2. And myspace has turned into a meat market. It's insane! I got friended by a picture of a penis!!!

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  3. He'll love that, Christina--he just wants her to knock it off!

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  4. ...oh, oops, was sympathy the proper response. Darn it!

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  5. I sure did. And it looked like a webcam pic. It was deleted by myspace rather quickly.

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  6. I should have talked to you before I wrote this. You've got the best story by far--though I just had a weird encounter with William's granny.

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  7. Is he just too polite to turn her away...no that can't be it...is she crazy?

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  8. He tried to ignore her flirtations--until I opened my big mouth and gave her the opening to declare herself. I thought she was just a nice old lady, but I'm not so sure anymore.

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  9. Ah, Pepe, you are blinded by ze arrows of l'amour.... it eez not a female skunk, monsieur, but it eez a female cat!

    I can so relate to the cat. Poor kitty, getting white paint dropped on her and gaining the unwanted affections of Pepe in the process.

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  10. Christina, that's a scary sort of tale you've got there. And I know about Norma's unwanted attention, for that matter.

    Yeesh!

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  11. Yes, here we sit, the three of us, in the same sinking boat....

    Christina, William and I had a deal on MySpace--he chased away my pests and I got to deal with his.

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  12. One of my requirements when I see a picture of Pepe... I must talk like him, however briefly.

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  13. I guess I should feel fortunate that I don't have anyone proposing marriage, or other intimate activities. Given the choice, I'll take SPAM any day over creepy guys.

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  14. At least you can just dump SPAM. It's harder to get rid of those bunny-boilers.

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  15. Lol! I love Pepe.
    Well, I've become a little paranoid...only friending females and never posting pics of my daughters on my blogs anymore.

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  16. You can always mention your hubby's expertise with firearms.

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  17. Come on, Norma, get with the times! The ladies and dudes dig the Twitter. :-)

    It is very interesting, and I always hope I'm not being perceived as some crazy stalking perv. I typically only follow other writers and relevant things, and do try to keep it as professional. Well, as professional as my inferior male brain will allow ...

    I will say in the YA writing world there aren't nearly as many men as there are women, and I do get a little self-concious at times. If you met me in person, you could easily see my wedding band and witness my awkward (BUT LOVABLE) side and instantly know I don't mean any harm. Unfortunately, the web only allows you to see my rugged thumbnail picture, so you'd have to squint to determine my lovability.

    Great post!

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  18. She may be old, but can she read. Sounds live a shoe in for a book sale for William.

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  19. So you got MySpace spam and I get boatloads of email spam. Damn phishers.

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  20. He's got a lot of these stories. I used to tell him he was a nut magnet.

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  21. Poor Martin! I suggested he post some hot twentysomething year old as his girlfriend. If I was single I'd play the jealous girlfriend, but I'm not thinking that would go over too well! lol

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  22. It's the thought that counts, Christy!

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  23. omg. Why does this keep happening to him? Uck. There is nothing that gives me the creeps like a senior citizen hot on the trail of a youngie. Uck. Just a minute. I just got this pic in my head. Must...get...it...out. Geez. And I thought it was for real. Here's the sick part. When someone is after you, you don't even know if they are really the sex they say. There's at least one in every site.

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  24. I can't believe that this sort of shit is still going on, especially since you've told her that you're far from interested! I guess you won't want to read "Wildflower" then...LOL

    I guess I must be un-lovable...all I get are emails that will help me enlarge my penis...LOL

    So sorry this is happening to you, William. Can you call the cops or something???

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  25. Stalkers of all kinds suck! Unless maybe if it was someone following us around throwing money at us.... No, actually that would still be weird.

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  26. I put "taken" on every site I'm signed up to, but I *still* get people writing looking for a guy -- including real people, sometimes. Despite all my profiles mentioning my being engaged. Is it that hard to read up a little, people?

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  27. Mark, I think the people who are weird enough to stalk don't really care if you're taken or not.
    Lauren, personally I'd love it if a stalking penis could throw money at me!

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  28. This whole post and the comments are just hilarious. I haven't been stalked yet. Not even by a money throwing penis. This makes me sad.

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  29. Norma, I'm surprised William told you about me....

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  30. Eve--you just outed yourself! You are so funny!

    Seriously...the lady in question told me her flirting was just in fun. Of course, in her place I'd say that, too--I'd be too embarrassed to admit I'd been coming on that strong with a man who had zero interest in me.

    Normally, I'd admire her boldness--but coming on like that to a man she doesn't even know is just asking for a world of hurt.

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Disagreements are welcome; trolls and spammers are not. Any and all comments by either of the latter two will be immediately deleted.