Thursday, July 28, 2011

Crapfest 2011

It all started with Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Surely you've seen it or at least heard of it. Reputed to be the worst movie ever made, no Crapfest would be complete without director Ed Wood's ultimate-in-cheesy film.
Yep, I've seen it. I had to. I had to see for myself if it was really as bad as it's rumored to be. It is. It's the ultimate in crap, what all other crap aspires to be. Ishtar, Waterworld, Pluto Nash...none of them measure up to the epitome of crap, Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Collin and I came up with an idea: an annual Crapfest, for which we'd rent all the worst films of the year and watch them back-to-back. (Buy them? No way!) Oh, I've bought a few stinkers over the years. I don't pay much attention to the critics, since their tastes and mine seldom mesh--but they do occasionally issue a bomb alert I find myself wishing I hadn't ignored.
Eye of the Beholder. Ewan McGregor, Ashley Judd. I'm a big McGregor fan, but this film's such a turkey, it should have been released at Thanksgiving. And I saw it in the theater first, so I have no excuse for such poor judgment. I remember thinking (as I was watching it), How could such a good actor make such a crappy film?

We all make mistakes.
Oh, sure, sometimes it's just a matter of taste. I don't like the Twilight films, but then, I just don't like the genre. I used to love vampire movies, until the undead population overtook us and the living became a minority. The last vampire movie I actually liked was Wes Craven's Dracula 2000.

I confess: I wouldn't object to being bitten by Gerard Butler.  


16 comments:

  1. If it's worse then Pluto Nash, it's got to be really, really bad.

    And I've seen Dracula 2000 too. Curious that Gerard Butler is completely absent from the poster art, no?

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  2. Curious, indeed. One would think the producers would have wanted the star vampire front and center.

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  3. Meanwhile, Omar Epps' career faded into oblivion and he was never seen again.

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  4. We should have a crap fest for bad books. I can think of a few of those too! Of course no one I personally know has written any of them.
    I've seen Planet 9 from Out of Space and wondered what led me to purchase a ticket? Probably Lugosi, I'm a sucker for old Hungarians.

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  5. I really like Bram Stoker's Dracula. But I also like Wesley Snipes, Blade, all of them. But I also liked the Underworld Seires, too. The Twilight books are way better then the movies. THough I must add Stephanie Meyers broke all the fiction writing rules so much so I was bored until page 100 in her first book. I was on a plane for three hours. What else was I going to do?

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  6. The worst movie I ever saw was "My Life as a Dog". Words cannot describe this movie.

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  7. Shelly, all the things casual readers complain about with Twilight didn't bother me at all -- I actually liked the second and third books, for the most part. But the writing style -- yuck! The first book was so loaded with mistakes and just plain awful writing, and yet no one seemed to notice.

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  8. My Life as a Dog was so bad. Ha, ha, ha!

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  9. Norma, you must be a patient person. I cannot handle bad movies. Of course, James and I used to get up at 6am to watch Mystery Science Theatre.

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  10. I wouldn't object to anything coming from Gerard Butler. And, totally agree about vampire movies... I liked them until the pre-pubescent males took over and became more idols than terrifying creatures. Lame.

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  11. There is, of course, the legendary bad film Death to Smoochy, which, as Ebert said at the time took real talent to make something that awful.

    And there's a film that's reputed to be the worst film of last year, called the Human Centipede....

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  12. Oh, I remember you telling me about Human Centipede...gross!

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  13. Ok, quit dissing the Twilight series...I happened to like all of the books, so there! *sticks out tongue*...LOL BTW, I would love to be bitten by Edward...*smiles and bats eyelashes, swooning*...LOL

    I'm with Eve...I can think of a few bad books...I mean very bad books that are beyond crapfest. I don't even know why I read them...

    Movies? There was one movie that had Molly Shannon and John C. Reilly in it...it was supposed to be funny, but there wasn't a funny moment in it. It could be right up there with your crapfest of movies...I can't think of the name right now...but it had dogs in it too...I thought it was called, "The Year of the Dog"...Anyway, it was awful.

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  14. Beth, just to give fair warning... when the next Twilight film comes out (please say it's the last and we never have to see Edward and Bella again), I'll be doing another blog.

    The Twi-hards are going to have me hung from the nearest oak tree.

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  15. @William-Well, won't you be surprised...yes, it's sort of the last film...they're making it a two-parter! Yay!!! More Edward and Bella...!!!

    Ok, just more Edward...

    Oh, and I'll be first in line to string you up...how much rope do you want used?

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  16. Whatever kind of rope, as long as it's got a trick knot I can use in my escape.

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