Sunday, July 17, 2011

An Uneasy Truce

We're outnumbered with no hope, no way out.
More gadgets move into our home every day. Once my resistance to cellphones was sufficiently worn down, other gadgets came: computers...DVD game consoles (several of them)...Game Boys and Sony PSPs...MP3 players...DVD recorders...satellite TV with a DVR...the wireless router...Collin's Entourage Edge...and the latest addition to the family, a Roku player.

Yup. We're outnumbered. I wonder when the takeover will begin? Or has it already begun?

We recently switched to a new bank for our safe deposit box. The new one is strictly high-tech. To get in, we have to put in our PIN number, then place our hand on the metal pad so we can be identified by our handprint. If we pass the ID test, we're then allowed into a room that looks like something out of Mission: Impossible. Surprisingly, a plain old key is then used to open the safe deposit box, which is about twice the size of our old one.
I would not want to get trapped in there by a computer malfunction.
The good news on the human vs. technology front is that Scudder and I have finally called a truce. (I name my gadgets; the Android is appropriately named for the middle-finger-flipping robots in Red Dwarf.) It hasn't been easy, but we've finally reached the point at which Scudder tolerates me.

"My phone hates me," I told Collin one night.
"It doesn't hate you," Collin said. It just doesn't respect me. It laughs at me, and not only behind my back.
I've had to summon up every ounce of bravado I can. Don't let it know I'm scared to death of it. It can sense fear. It knows I'm intimidated by it. Let it know who's boss....
Wait a minute. That won't work. It already knows who's boss. That's the problem.
Collin and I went into Best Buy's phone store at the mall recenty. When I mentioned having three phones, the surprised salesman asked why.
Well, let's see...the Dash no longer functions as a phone, but in a wi-fi hot spot, still does e-mail...the Intercept is great for an e-reader, audiobooks, and working on manuscripts, and gets radio stations from all over the world, but totally sucks as a phone...and the Loft, while limited in data abilities is a great little phone.
Doesn't everyone carry three phones?  


  1. I wish this post had been in English so I could understand it. Sorry but I don't know what all these gadgets are. I guess I'm technologically challenged. I just learned to text a year ago.

  2. Norma is way ahead of her time.

    Oh and as far as hotspots this desert will kick your___!:)

  3. Now this blog subject, I like and can identify with. :)

  4. No. I've got enough problems with one.

  5. I'm still in the stone ages with my flip phone. By the time we decide to get phones that do all these special things (or be able to afford such things), they will be obsolete...then we won't be able to afford the next ones...

  6. Heck, I have enough trouble with one cell phone. I admit, we are surrounded by gadgets.

  7. Shoot, I just remembered that I didn't turn my phone back on after the Harry Potter movie. It usually takes a day or two before I miss it.

  8. They're already in charge. I have absolutely no clue how anything really works on the computer or on the internet, and usually have to ask other people to set things up for me, yet there's where I spend most of my time. If machines decide to start running things, what would I be able to do to stop them?

  9. You named your Android Scudder?

    I see the minions have infested even your technology.

    Very funny blog, Norma!

  10. We just got a new car with a built-in gps and a hard drive for recording music. It has bluetooth and our phones are now programmed in where we can answer through the...well, I don't know what through...we push a button on the steering wheel to answer, and instead of keys we have this little sensor that as long as it is in my purse or pocket, the car automatically unlocks when I'm close enough. It even took my husband forever to figure it all oout and he's a genius at all that stuff. I'm having visions of that old car movie "Christina". I better not piss this car off!

  11. A possessed car named Christina...a Porsche, no doubt!

  12. I actually had a student on full financial aid, complaining she couldn't afford food. But somehow she figured out how to afford two Android phones and an iPhone, all activated. She said she wanted to have a phone on each of the major services.


Spammers and scammers will be deleted.