Friday, December 23, 2011

Deck the Halls (Part Three)

Pastor John says God wants us to be a blessing to others. There's a lot of that going around this Christmas, with layaway accounts being paid in full by mysterious strangers and other random acts of kindness we haven't seen much in decades past. I've asked myself if I have ever been a blessing to anyone. The answer is...I'm not so sure. I've always been more a holy terror than a heavenly gift. But I am still a work in progress, so as long as there's breath in me, there's hope.

Hope...that's what Christmas is really all about, isn't it? My hope for each of you, my friends, is that the spirit of Christmas finds its way into your heart an burrows deep so that it flourishes. One person really can change the world. On Christmas, we celebrate the birth of one who did. Today, I leave you with the last repost for this year of my visits with the Ghosts of Christmases Past....


12/25/09: Merry Christmas, everybody! 

OK, it's not politically correct. I'm not politically correct. Stats say 80% of the U.S. is Christian. That means I'm in the majority, and last time I checked, majority rules. Even if it didn't, I'm a Christian and proud of it. 

I have a lot to apologize for, but that's not on the list. 

Last Christmas, for example. In Iraq, Santa was making the rounds wearing a bullet-proof vest and packin' heat. Who'd ever have thought Santa would have to travel with weapons? 

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus--and he's armed and dangerous.Don't let him catch you being naughty. There's a stiff penalty for being naughty. 

In New Zealand in 2007, a bunch of drunken Santas invaded a cineplex. Drunken Santas?'s so hard to get good help these days. 

Normally, I try to be done with everything long before the Big Day because I detest crowds and insanity (except my own, of course), but yesterday, I not only ventured out into the last-minute chaos, I was oblivious to it. I had my trusty MP3 player with me, so all was well. 

Music really does soothe the savage beast. I'm living proof of that. 

First stop: the bank, to make a deposit before their early close at noon. We've been with the same bank for something like seventeen years, through numerous mergers and name changes. I've been there longer than most of the personnel. At the teller window (I don't think they call 'em teller cages anymore, though at times they probably should), Pat was smiling. She had good reason to smile: a holiday falling on a weekday. They get, if you'll pardon the expression, screwed on Sunday holidays. Not even a half day off. But this Christmas, it's going to be a day and a half. 

Big smiles all around. 

"I'm going to get my turkey," I mentioned. 

She didn't miss a beat. "I thought he was at work," she deadpanned, referring to Collin, not the edible turkey awaiting me at Dierbergs' deli. 

I laughed like a looney tune. Couldn't help it. That was a good line. Wish I'd thought of it. 

We had a pre-fab (OK, pre-cooked) turkey. My son, the aspiring chef, had no intention of preparing the Christmas dinner. (Did I mention this before? Or maybe I only mentioned it repeatedly to HIM.) He worked all week at the restaurant and had no interest in cooking on his one and only day off. So with our pre-cooked bird, instant sides and my aversion to cooking anything other than in a microwave, dinner was ready in a record 30 minutes. 

Hey, I have better things to do on Christmas Day than cook.


  1. Though I love turkey dinners for Christmas, one year we had spaghetti and meatballs. A huge pot of it. I ate it every meal for a week and it was great.

  2. Beautifully said, Norma, and still funny!

    I'm not actually a turkey fan, and the friends I'm having Christmas dinner aren't either, so it's a roast for dinner this year.

  3. Does machine gun toting Santa get to kill the Grinch?

  4. The two of us think there's plenty of room in the world for being naughty and nice at the same time...

  5. I am so sick of crowds, and the week before I keep running to the store or mall for something else! I have to go shopping today if I want to make a dinner on Christmas Eve. I usually do ham, but I'm really craving beef, so I might do a nice beef roast.

  6. I happen to love turkey...much better than chicken and definitely better than roast beef (unless it's roast pork) LOL Since you seem to have an aversion to cooking, I'll cook when I get out there. I'm not the best cook in the world, but you might want to adopt me!

    Merry Christmas to you and Collin, and to everyone else here!!

    BTW, you have made a difference and you are a many! I know I feel that way...

  7. My gift to me and my family and if I am out and about is no stress ! Plus crowds and I do not get along I have a comprised immune system so no germs for me thank you !
    I love the month of December and like to enjoy it. Christmas gifts and card are done, food bought or ordered, lights strung and the time to enjoy it.
    We all cook on Christmas Eve day... and then all we have to do it warm it up on Christmas Day.

    Have a lovely Christmas Day....
    cheers, parsnip

  8. Sounds like you need to find some sober Santas to help out around the house--maybe a cute one that knows how to cook! Stay warm at Christmas!

  9. Merry Christmas, all of you!

    We are having a ham. That was my deal with Collin. He got his turkey for Thanksgiving and I get my ham for Christmas.

  10. Ha! Love the hard core Santa!

    Merry Christmas!


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