Saturday, March 31, 2012

I Didn't Win? Craptastic!

No, I did NOT win the Mega Millions jackpot. I will not be able to buy special military equipment to rid the neighborhood of the nuisance neighbors--it was a delightful fantasy while it lasted, though.



And I had such a good system...Collin and I had lunch at the Magic Wok yesterday. My fortune cookie had an interesting message accompanied by six numbers:



I thought, "Why not?" Normally, I would play a set of "significant" numbers or just go with a Quick Pick. This could be interesting. Could a fortune cookie pick winning lottery numbers?

The answer is no. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the word "inherit."



Truthfully, I didn't expect to win. I rarely play the lottery, and when I do, it's just for fun, a Pick 3 now and then, a Powerball or Mega Millions when the jackpots are indecently huge, but most often I just get a few scratchers. I've had some wins, nothing larger than $50. Collin's luck has been better: his biggest win to date was $600. Horses are my game. I don't play fanatically, but I can pick a winner.



Collin took five chances this time. Not a winner in the lot. I guess the newscaster who said odds were better of being hit by an asteroid wasn't kidding. (They used to say the odds were better of being struck by lightning, but these days an awful lot of people have been struck by lightning.)



So...the three winning tickets were sold in Illinois, Kansas and Maryland. That means somewhere in those three states, someone is waking up to an unimaginable fortune...an army of relatives he/she never knew they had...scam artists lining up at their door...and the IRS backing an armored truck up to their bank accounts.





If past experiences are any indicator, by the time the dust settles, these winners will be right back where they started. If they're lucky.


(A special thank you to my partner in crime, William Kendall, for giving me most of the photos used here. He always finds the good ones!)


28 comments:

  1. Emphasis on an army of relatives they never talk to, and a pack of scam artists lining up! It'll be a smorgasbord of opportunity!

    Very funny blog!

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  2. You know, there are other ways to get lucky....

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    Replies
    1. And nobody would know more about getting lucky than the two of you!

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  3. Oh well, maybe next time!Very cute blog with cute pictures too!

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    1. The photos--except for the ticket and fortune cookie slip--are all courtesy of William!

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  4. Love that last one! Think that might be my neighbor ...

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  5. Love the photos, I though William was a partner in crime.

    I just heard about the lotteryin the last few days and thought I should try and buy a ticket but never got around to it.
    Oh well....
    Love your idea on how to spend the money ! Perfect !

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Parsnip--what happened to your blog? When I try to get in, I keep getting a "Blog Not Found" message!

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  6. I don't know....
    blogger was going to change it's format so son and I changed it our self yesterday.
    Today I was reading and commenting and it blocked ME then I had to jump through several hoops with google and hopefully it is now working ? ? ?
    hamish says yert to it all ! phiff !

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    Replies
    1. It's back up, Parsnip. I just posted a comment.

      I didn't want to miss Square Dog Friday--I hadn't gotten to see it yesterday!

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  7. Well, I guess the adoption is off...

    Oh well...you'll just have to settle for a visit...! :o)

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    Replies
    1. Are you sure you want to come here? I'm not even sure I want to live here anymore! I just learned some stuff I didn't know....

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  8. Love the alligator picture. Makes you wonder how you'd spend the money if you won. If you're looking for a tax shelter, you could always invest in mime school scholarships.

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    1. That was William's favorite, too.

      Mime school scholarships???

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  9. Sadly my dreams of having the money to live out my bucket list were dashed when I didn't win the Mega Millions. I'll just have to get rich the old fashioned way by sleeping with the right people!

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    Replies
    1. I'd love to win the lottery...I just don't want all the garbage that goes with being a lottery winner.

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  11. Love the redneck lottery winners photo - haha! I rarely play the lottery. It would be nice to win but it's too much effort.

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    1. I see people in the grocery stores--mostly elderly people who've just received their Social Security checks--buying dozens of tickets at a time. I wonder how they can take that kind of risk knowing the odds are against them.

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  12. What a fun post, Norma. Where, oh, where does William find those funny photos. The Nigerian lottery cracked me up. Hub and I bought five tickets - with 'laundered' money -- the bill fell out of the dryer -- didn't win a bit back, shucks!

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    1. I launder money all the time...Collin keeps leaving his tips in his apron pocket!

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  13. I don't want to win the lottery. I'd never know if I could have done anything on my own. I didn't play :D

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    1. Winning the lottery is more a curse than a blessing. You always have somebody after you for money.

      Smart lottery winners keep their identities secret. Except in Illinois, where they require you to reveal yourself if you win, which is unfair.

      Delete
    2. That is very unfair. It shouldn't have to be a public matter. :(

      Delete

Disagreements are welcome; trolls and spammers are not. Any and all comments by either of the latter two will be immediately deleted.