Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Welcome to Geezerworld--The Pity Party Starts Now!

Getting old sucks.






I come from a family that ages very slowly...but when it catches up with us, it catches up with a vengeance. Just a few years ago, I didn't look or feel my age. I still don't look my age, but I sure do feel it! I'll be fifty-nine in a few short months. That means next year I'll be...SIXTY! Oh, crap! Turning thirty was no big deal. I felt like I'd finally grown up (that's what I thought, anyway). Forty was a bit unsettling. I was thirty-seven when my father died, and I was starting to feel the sting of mortality. If my dad could die, I could die. Fifty passed with only a slight nod in acknowledgment. That year was the beginning of a lot of turmoil in my life, and my fiftieth birthday was the least of my concerns. I'd lost my mom by then as well. My life seemed to be falling apart and I could do nothing to stop it.


Sure, I have a lot to complain about. I take too many meds--for hypertension, hypothyroidism, acid reflux, epilepsy, high cholesterol. Menopause is wreaking havoc on my sleep patterns and concentration. Certain hormones have taken a nosedive and replacing them synthetically is out of the question because the family history of heart disease says the risk is too high. I can't dance like I used to because I've got a bum leg due to an accident last year. I've lost too many loved ones--the latest on that list being my beloved Sammy Bird. I miss him. I miss all of them.


But I still have a great deal to be grateful for, even happy about.


I'm starting over on so many levels--rebuilding my career, rebuilding my life. I'm not making as much as I once did as an author, but I'm writing the books I really want to write. I have my faith, which is stronger than ever, and a great church. I have some wonderful new friends, friends I likely would never have met, had I not experienced the financial downturn. I have Collin, and I could not have asked for a better son. We've survived our own issues and are now--I think--closer than ever.


Sure, I wish my loved ones were all still alive and with us now. But do I regret the loss of my conventional publishing career or the income that went with it? No. I learned a great deal during that time. And I became someone I didn't really like very much. But a fall from grace was what it took to bring me to where I am now, so I'm glad it happened.


This year, I think I'll start counting backward. I'll be fifty-seven in August....








NOTE: Hope you'll check out the posts on my other blogs, too:
Beishir Books: From the Pages of the International Intruder 1
Beishir Books: From the Pages of the International Intruder 2
Basking in the Afterglow


19 comments:

  1. Yeah, my husband just had a birthday and I spent the whole day trying to cheer him up and I hate to say it--but it worked.
    This morning he pointed out that Beverly Johnson is 60 years old and she's either an alien or there is hope for me too.
    There's a man around our parts they interviewed in the paper who said he loved the noisy Coachella music Festival across the street from him. The man sipped his vodka martini and said he was 100 years old. His 60 year old kids said that he loved the festival because he was deaf. Makes me want to run out and get some vodka.
    Congratulations on your "New" career and new friends--sounds wonderful because you have choices now.

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    1. If I looked like Beverly Johnson, I'd feel pretty good, too!

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  2. Sometimes you might want to forget you've got kids, particularly if they just left the car running and the next thing they knew the thing was going over the Hoover Dam....

    Age is just a number; life is the real journey. There have been bumps along the way, but you're in a better place now. You've kept moving forward.

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    1. I've been pretty lucky in the kid department. I'd be more likely to drive off the Hoover Dam than he would!

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  3. Well I'm way over sixty and look about eightyfive on a good day. I feel old which is a shame like you, too many health problems to slow me down but...
    In my mind I don't feel old. I feel like I did when I was in my 20's even better. How strange is that ?

    You have the best attitude ever !

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Parsnip, I think you're the one who has the best attitude...but thanks! I'll take compliments wherever I can get them!

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  4. Beth, You are still young. I didn't have a wrinkle one until I was 60. Then everything went south. Like you I miss the wonderful people who are no longer there for me to talk with, to see, to hug, and most of all I miss my beloved Lanny Dee. Yet, I still thank God for know all these people and know we'll meet again. Blessings.

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    1. Beth? Mari...uh, this isn't Beth's blog....

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  5. Keep counting backwards, live a long time, and you will be celebrating your Zero Birthday!

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    1. Thanks, Lynn...but not that you mention it, I don't want to go quite THAT far back!

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  6. Getting old isn't as fun as it used to be. When I was young, I couldn't wait for birthdays so I could be grown-up. What a dope I was.

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  7. I did, too, Carole. And my dad would always tell me to stop wishing my life away!

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  8. Do what I am going to do...turn the numbers around! I am 45 ;0

    I do embrace my fifties, we sold up and created a new life in the sun. I am not sure how I will feel about my sixties. My parents are in their mid-late 70's. My paternal gparents passed in their mid seventies, my maternal gpa was 81, and my gran 93. I am on a keeping healthy plan now, and am blessed with good health. I am scared of Alzheimer's taking hold. My father has it, and my gran (93) had it, so both my maternal and paternal genes are in danger.

    I am grateful for my lifestyle, and happy to meet new friends who introduce me to different ways to enjoy life.

    Big smiles and hugs sent your way.

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    1. Hi, Glynis! Reversing the numbers wouldn't work for me--I'd be 85 (though I've had moments lately in which I've felt 85). Longevity does run in my family on both sides, so that's a good thing, right?

      We have a family friend who died after a long fight with Alzheimer's. That would scare me, too. My dad had all of his mental faculties right up to the end. Mom had dememtia in her last six months, the result of strokes. She didn't recognize Collin and me toward the end.

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  9. I've realized that my age has crept up like a freight train...not liking the fact that in 5 years I'll be 50!...but, there's nothing but death to slow us down. You're only as old as you feel...I've started eating a bit better, eating more vegetables and fruits...it's not my usual fare, so I'm hoping it helps a little. Getting this weight off would sure help with my aches and pains, etc.

    Hope you feel better...

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  10. Ah, you stole my thunder -- this July, I was planning on turning from 49 to 48.

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  11. My dad has often gone with the taking the numbers in reverse routine.

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  12. My mom turned "25" for many years in a row when I was a kid...even though she was over 30 when she had me. Hmmmm...

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