Thursday, September 20, 2012

Hey, Mom--I've Got the Angry Snails Now!

Years ago, when Mom was still with us, she, Collin and I would walk to Hampton Village, a shopping area about a mile away. We didn't know it at the time, but Mom was suffering from congestive heart failure and only months away from having a life-altering stroke.

Mom didn't--couldn't--walk very fast. She always slowed us down. We were always stopping, waiting for her to catch up. And we gave her a bad time about it.

"Need a push?"

"If you were any slower, you'd be standing still!"

"There's a bunch of angry snails behind you, honking and swearing!"

Mom couldn't move any faster. Her heart wasn't pumping well enough to keep the blood--and therefore oxygen--circulating through her body.  But until the first stroke, we didn't know that.

Okay, that's not entirely true.

I had mentioned some other symptoms she'd been having to our family doctor, who responded, "She's having strokes." What he was referring to is actually called a TIA (transient ischemic attack), a prelude to the main event stroke--the warning shot fired across the bow, so to speak.

And now it's my turn.

When we're out walking, I'm the one slowing Collin down. He's always stopping to wait for me, letting me know it's time for a geezer scooter. I'm the one who feels like I have concrete blocks chained to my ankles. Yep, Mom, I hope you can see this. Payback really is a bitch.

I really wish those snails would shut up....


  1. Getting older stinks, but the good news is you'll never need to be encouraged slow and smell the roses again! :-D

    1. If I slowed down any more, I'd be standing still!

  2. Hey, I'm right there with you...
    For me the angry snails have passed me up and at laughing at me. zoom zoom !
    I am pretty much house bound. I use a walker at home but a cane the few times I do go out.

    Norma your so clever.

    cheers, parsnip

    1. When my did was in his seventies, he used to come home from shopping trips with Mom complaining about the senior citizens moving so slowly in the stores. "Too many old people!" he'd grumble.

      I'd look at him and ask, "And what do you think YOU are?"

      "I'm not that slow!"

      He was lucky. He was almost at 100% right up until the week before he died.

    2. That was supposed to read "dad" not "did."

      The eyes are going, too....

  3. The snails are looking back over their shoulder at you!

    1. And laughing. Pointing and snickering, actually.

  4. Do you like escargot?
    Sorry, it just sounded appropriate. I wish you tons of blessings and please don't have a stroke. Can you pop a baby aspirin a day or something? Please take care of yourself.

    1. I just knew at least one of you would mention escargot!

  5. Definitely take care of yourself. You are important.

  6. A good many of those angry snails are on the march protesting something or other, those walking well behind them are probably in the safest place!


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