Before I get started, a couple of things: First, Happy New Year to all! According to the Chinese zodiac, I am a snake (hold your comparisons and jokes until I'm finished, please), so I'm guessing this will be my year. It's about time!
Second, there are new posts on some of my favorite blogs today. I hope you'll check them out!
Speak of the Devil
Basking in the Afterglow
The Life of a Novice Writer
Two Little Square Black Dogs
Pets and Other Critters
New Mom Talli Roland
Challenging the Gnome
Pearldrops on the Page
Ten Lives and Second Chances
Ever wondered what resolutions celebrities might be making? Here are some possibilities:
Charlie Sheen: To keep my feet out of my mouth as often as possible...before I run out of TV networks willing to put up with me! Winning! Wait...what's that? Of course I'm still winning....
Justin Bieber: To let Mom choose my clothes for public events from now on, Who knew overalls would cause such an uproar?
Lady Gaga: What? I'm offering free mental health counseling to my concert attendees. What more can I do?
Madonna: Maybe I'll change my name to PrimaDonna. It suits me much better!
PSY: I didn't think I'd get caught. Americans are so stupid! Okay, my resolution will to become more proficient at covering my tracks. I plan to make as much money as I can in the US before those idiots finally tire of me!
Kris Jenner: To make an even bigger fool of myself and my family while raking in as much cash and publicity as I can. After all, most people are already sick of me--I have to plan for the future. Bruce and I are going to need lots of nips and tucks!
Donald Trump: To be the biggest a**hole I can be. I have to excel at everything I do, even that!
The GOP: To hold the country hostage until hell freezes over if necessary to guarantee the richest Americans hold onto their tax breaks. Poor people can't be counted on to keep us in office! To paraphrase Marie Antoinette, let them eat Twinkies--oh, that's right. They went out of business, didn't they?
The expected baby of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: To put myself up for adoption immediately upon birth and never, ever admit those freaks are my bio-parents!
Chevy Chase: To make myself completely unemployable in the television industry! Nothing like email to make sure the word gets out....
Alec Baldwin: I'll be doing a movie: Snakes on Planes 2. But this one won't involve reptiles. Words With Friends, anyone?
Adele: To continue to indulge in free expression. Oh, come on! No one uses sign language at music awards shows?
Olivier Martinez and Gabriel Aubrey: To take our fights to Madison Square Garden. If we're going to beat the daylights out of each other, we might as well get paid for it!
Lindsay Lohan: To finally deep-six my career in 2013. Why is it taking so long? I thought it would be easy!
Mel Gibson: To insult every race, religion and sexual orientation on the planet. Did everyone think it was just an act when I got on the crazy train in the Lethal Weapon movies?
Bill Clinton: Nookie, nookie and more nookie! (Hillary's not going to see this, is she?)