Tuesday, April 30, 2013

And the Doctor Says, "Up Yours...."

I've come to the conclusion that doctors get kickbacks on colonoscopies.

Seriously. They'll order a colonoscopy for just about any reason. Backache? An immediate colonoscopy is in order. Got a hangnail? Colonoscopy. I've bailed on five of 'em so far. I keep telling the doctors I can't do the prep. It never gets past my ultra-sensitive esophagus, which immediately expels anything that doesn't taste or smell right.

They just don't listen.



Anyway...last Thursday, I was sent to the Center for Advanced Medicine at Barnes-Jewish Hospital for a consultation. Last month, I'd had a scary bout of what my doctor believed to be diverticulitis. I had no reason to believe she was wrong. Collin and my friend Carolyn went with me for this consultation.

Collin wisely chose to stay in the waiting room. I wish I could have. Carolyn and I were shown into an examining room and told the doctor would be with us shortly. Carolyn found herself wishing she'd made a pit stop in the restroom as I had before signing in. I found myself wishing I'd stayed home. I had a feeling it was going to be a waste of time. I hate it when I'm right about these things.

The nurse returned, apologetic. We had to move. Something about needing a bigger exam room. Bigger exam room? Why? I wondered.

We moved across the hall. The room was slightly larger...and it had an adjoining bathroom, which I pointed out to Carolyn. She was making use of it when the doctor arrived...with three or four medical students, interns, residents, I'm not sure. We were never properly introduced. A larger exam room was definitely needed. The Coliseum might have been a good option.

Carolyn...the doctor's here. No, there will be no rectal exam today.

In fact, there was no exam of any kind. He asked me a few questions and decided my symptoms did not match those of diverticulitis. Really, Doc? According to their website, the Mayo Clinic disagrees...but then, what does the Mayo Clinic know? (Yes, I'm being sarcastic.)

No x-ray, no CT scan, no white cell count...just a colonoscopy. Once again, in spite of my explanation as to why I can't do it, I've been told it's being scheduled.

Wanna bet?


(Originally published at WordPress, 4/30/13)

18 comments:

  1. Oh no!!!! Good luck with drinking the potion! I think it's a test of your strength and based on what I know about you--you can do anything.

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  2. hahahahahahahaha......
    yep, don't go there !
    How arrogant of him !

    I love when I watched "House" in the beginning of every consultation they always list everyone of my problems as they now the "new" health problem.
    When I started to have symptoms of Fibromyalgia, 35 years ago, all the male doctors would take one look at me, a stay at home mum and said.... your bored, eat less, exercise more you have no symptoms, your not sick.
    It took a female doctor to listen to the fact I had valley fever in my teens, then early arthritis to understand the pain and find out I had fiberromyalgia.
    Two minutes of a prejudiced consultation does not make for a reasonable diagnosis.

    After all "what does the Mayo clinic know ?"
    hahahahahahaha

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Dr. Oz did a show on this the other day--he showed how and why it's often preferable for a woman to have a female doctor. A woman MD who was his guest said a male doctor who sees a female patient presenting cardiac symptoms will too often order a stress test and stop there if the results are normal. A female doctor will order other tests.

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  3. I think you're on to something - I could've sworn I just read an article about there being too many colonoscopies ordered these days (though of course I can't seem to track down the article at the moment). It's scary when doctors so don't 'get it' (hm, why do they not teach listening skills in med school/residencies, or at least select for that skill to begin with)?

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    1. That doesn't come as a surprise at all, Lulu! It seems like there's always a disease or procedure du jour.

      We were talking about it in the elevator on the way out and a woman standing next to me said she would never have another colonoscopy again. I'm not saying they don't serve a valuable purpose, but doctors do seem to go overboard with them, and if the patient can't tolerate the prep or have the procedure for whatever reason, an alternative should be suggested.

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  4. Oh no... poor you.. good luck!

    if it makes you feel any better not to long ago I had to go to the doctor because of really bad stomach pains... Wouldn't have been so awkward but my dr is my husbands BFF... thank goodness he didn't have to do anything dramatic either!

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    1. Oh, Hilary, that could be seriously awkward!

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  5. Oh no.. .poor you.. Good luck...

    if it makes you feel any better not too long ago I had to go to the dr for really bad stomach issues. It wouldn't have been so awkward if my dr wasn't my husbands BFF. thank goodness he didnt have to do anything dramatic either...

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Dammit Jim, I'm a pompous ass, not a doctor!

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    1. Dammit, Jim, Starfleet doesn't pay me enough to do this.

      Starfleet doesn't pay us at all, Bones.

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  7. Oh don't even get me started on my opinion of doctors, I much prefer to make my own diagnosis and there will be no colonoscopies :) I hope all is well with you Norma.

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    1. I'm trying to figure out how to do a No Colonoscopies logo...any ideas, Grace?

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    2. Haha! you could certainly have a bit of fun with this one Norma.. bet William would have some ideas :)

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  8. Empathy in a doctor would be a lovely, lovely thing. Unfortunately that seems to not be the case with a good number of them...

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    1. I'd have gotten more empathy at Jiffy Lube....

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