Wednesday, March 12, 2014

When You've Gotta Go, You've Gotta Go--But Would You Pay to Go?

I would.

I hate public restrooms. They're my Number One pet peeve. I've actually considered buying Depends for use when we go out so I wouldn't have to use a public restroom. In spite of the efforts of some establishments to keep them clean, the bathrooms are almost always a mess.

Most people are pigs, it would seem.

One has to wonder what the bathrooms in their homes are like. Ewwwww! Or is it that they're only disgusting in public restrooms because they're inconsiderate pigs who figure since someone else is going to have to clean it up, it doesn't matter if they urinate on the seat or leave the toilet unflushed and full of number two? I'd be embarrassed to leave such a mess. I'm the one who cleans the tables off and stacks the plates in restaurants. 


I wondered for a long time how women could pee on the toilet seat. Men, yes...but women? I got the explanation while watching Kathie Lee and Hoda one morning on Today. Most women are taught to "hover," avoiding contact with the toilet seat. In hovering, they miss the mark just like men do.

I'm not opposed to hovering. I am, however, opposed to not cleaning up after oneself.

One day, Collin and I were shopping at Sam's Club. There's a Jack in the Box practically next door, so we stopped there for lunch. Collin got in line to place our order, so I went back to the restroom. Jack in the Box has single restrooms, no stalls, and this women's room was in use. I waited, until an older woman, clean and well-dressed, emerged, then went inside. What I found pretty much ruined my appetite. Though this gal was getting around a lot better than I was, her hover must have been pretty wobbly, because it was all over everything.

I ran out with every intention of catching up with her to engage in serious public humiliation--but as I've said, the old gal was getting around better than I was. By the time I got out there, she was in her car and driving away.

Earlier this morning, a segment on Today dealt with a proposal to create members-only bathrooms. It would involve construction of restrooms accessible only to those who have paid memberships. Each unit would be cleaned thoroughly after every use.

Oh, I could soooo get on board with that!


  1. People are gross! In my office, on our old floor there used to be a doctor's office. The patients were beyond pigs… My entire company would walk downstairs to a different floor just to avoid the bathrooms on our floor. Oh yeah.. there was also a lab that did urine samples on my old floor and they didn't have their own restroom… getting the picture???

  2. Oh, yes. I've had all these experiences and then some. I hate "hovererers". I mean how can my butt be any dirtier than theirs? Please! I've gone camping and found worse and better outhouses than public toilets. In fact, my husband and I are managers of a park, and he cleans the outhouses here better than he really needs to--they are CLEAN once he is done. And then we'll have nasty people doing nasty things in there to mess it all up. Pooping on the floor, etc! Excuse me! It's like they don't believe anyone will either see them leaving the mess, or that no one else uses them!
    Being a bus driver, I'm always in need of a toilet, and the university has some nice ones, but you still get the leavings of those who went before you. I mean if you don't want "touch" things, use the damned toilet paper for crying out loud! Sheesh!

  3. In Israel, when in the Arab villages one is charged 5 shekels to use the lieu. But clean they are not.

    Hugs and chocolate!

  4. @ Hilary: I've seen that in office buildings, too. Maybe cameras in the can isn't a bad idea, after all--catch the offenders and fine them. And put 'em in the local newspaper's police blotter!

    @ Lorelei: I've always felt sorry for those who have to clean those nasty things. As for the hoverers with bad aim, surely they can lift the seat with a thick bundle of TP, if they're that delicate. Since they're not going to sit anyway, they might as well give themselves a larger target!

    @ Shelly: They make you pay to use a dirty toilet? Ick!

  5. Don't like public restrooms. I know two places that I will use but that is about it.
    I don't know how some people were raised but I was not raised that way neither were my children.
    I was sitting in the doctors waiting room and the bathroom was right there. I heard a flush but the man appeared right away, He Did Not Wash His Hands !
    eww !
    Gag !
    I almost said something....

    cheers, parsnip

  6. Oh, wonder what neanderthal raised certain people... but neanderthals weren't this bad!

  7. So true! You made me think of a ditty I learned from college days, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat! (OK, not appetizing, sorry, but very basic etiquette:)

  8. @ Gayle: That is disgusting!

    @ William: Neanderthals probably had better manners!

    @ Lulu: I've seen that in a couple of public restrooms. Too bad it's usually ignored!

  9. Tip of the day: Places that want you to spend big money usually have great bathrooms. Furniture stores and car dealerships. Just say you're there to speak to customer service if you need an excuse. :)

  10. It has to be a desperate situation if I ever use a public loo Norma and there should definitely be an 'only number one's rule' .. don't leave home before you are done with the other :)

  11. This is my least favourite part of going on vacation - having to constantly use public bathrooms - and having just come back from a vacation, I can say that I've never been so happy to see my own toilet again! There are many European cities that charge for bathroom use upon entering, but I didn't think they were much cleaner than when you don't have to pay, so it's a good idea in theory, but I'm not sure it totally works.

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  13. Deleted earlier post to fix typos! Sorry! It should have said:

    In my vintage mystery, there's a scene where the heroine enters the women's bathroom at the Atlanta airport (this was in 1963) and debating with herself whether to pay to use a locked stall or just go with a free one.

    Yes, they had pay stalls back then in lots of public restrooms. A dime a trip. I doubt they were cleaned any more frequently than the open ones, but maybe they had less traffic?

    Which makes me wonder what a members-only toilet would actually be any better. After all, piggy people come from every walk of life and might very well be able to afford the membership!

  14. It is astounding how many people fail to practice basic toilet etiquette. Personally, the only time I hover is when I squat in the woods. When there's a toilet, I utilize paper to keep my lovely butt AND the seat tidy!

  15. @ Eve: Good idea!

    @ Grace: Also a good idea!

    @ Carla: That's not encouraging news, but thanks for the heads-up!

    @ Cheryl: I remember pay toilets! When the twins were little and my mom had her grocery store, Dad would do the laundry. One night, he had to go to a laundromat in town. The twins needed to go, and it was a pay toilet, so Dad inserted a quarter, let them in, then, well...he told Mom later he considered leaving--fast! (He was just kidding at the time, but I wish he had!)

    @ Lynn: I carry anti-bacterial wipes. But sometimes the mess is just too much!


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