Monday, June 16, 2014

At Death's Door (That's What it Felt Like, Anyway)

It's been a little longer than I planned since my last post, but I have an excuse. I was dying.

Okay, I wasn't really dying, but it kinda felt like I was leaning in that direction at times. In the past week, I've realized that I have no will, no advance directive, no prepaid cremation plan...I wonder if Collin could send me to the same crematorium that handled Sam's cremation? Maybe he could just stuff me into a black garbage bag and tell them I'm a large dog (I would have said "pig," but I would have been leaving myself open to too many jokes).

 
Last Monday, I thought I had a cold. It seemed pretty ordinary--stuffy nose, coughing, sneezing. No big deal. Early Tuesday morning, Collin had an appointment with his new doctor. Our friend Cathy dropped us off at the medical building--she had to go to work. As we waited for him to be seen, I began to regret our plan to take the bus home, even if it did include a stop for lunch at KFC. I was no longer hungry. I just wanted to go home...and go to bed.

Talk about divine intervention--I got a text from Pastor John and Carole, who were coming from a doctor appointment themselves and wanted to know if we'd need a ride home. I couldn't gratefully accept fast enough!

 
By Wednesday, my eyes had turned so red, I looked like an extra in a horror movie. Disgusting stuff was coming out of them. I lost my voice. My ears ached and my hearing was down to 50%. I had a fever. Zombies wouldn't have touched my brain at that point...even if they were starving.

On Thursday morning, Carolyn took me to see my doctor. Thankfully, during the course of the examination, neither MERS nor West Nile were even mentioned. The doctor said I had an upper respiratory infection (which I somehow managed to confuse with a UTI, which affects a different part of the body entirely). She prescribed antibiotics, which I rarely take but almost begged for this time. She also gave me a list of over-the-counter stuff to use...to which I added my parents' favorite remedy for everything from the common cold to the Ebola virus (just kidding): Vicks Vapo-Rub. This stuff will open any closed orifice!


The worst of it is over. I still have some congestion, and the cough is still a nuisance, but my eyes look normal again and my voice and hearing are getting there. I just took the last dose of the antibiotics. My appetite's back, and I'm still waiting for that bucket of chicken Collin promised me.

I guess they were right. I really am too mean to die....






28 comments:

  1. You really got clobbered by it this time! Good that the meds are taking their effect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I alternated between feeling like I was dying and actually wishing I was, that's how awful it was. The cough was the worst. It go so bad at one point, I think I injured myself....

      Delete
  2. Not too mean Norma, just not done with writing yet :) The cough is always the last thing to go, in the end it can drive you (and everyone around you) crazy! Oh my when you mentioned Vicks Vapo Rub it reminded me so much of my Mum, she loooooved the stuff :) Very happy to hear that you're on the mend, but take it easy for a while yet.. they reckon when you begin to feel better, wait another two weeks before you try to do everything at top speed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the generation before ours swore by Vicks Vapo-Rub! I always laugh when Sheldon brings it out on The Big Bang Theory.

      That sounds like excellent advice--thank you, Grace!

      Delete
  3. Good old Vick's! If that doesn't open up your head, nothing will!

    So sorry for you but glad you're getting over whatever it was!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hah! Everybody's familiar with Vicks! (Thanks, Cheryl!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Gosh .... So glad your on the mend !
    Since you didn't post last week I did think your cold (?) got worst !
    I am sad I was right. Thanks goodness you have such good friends.
    I have revised my will several time, I feel that if I have things in order bad stuff will not happen (haha)
    Like when you look your worst and the house is a mess, dishes in the sink that friends will always drop by !!
    I always have Vicks Vapo Rub in the house. Sometimes it is the only thing that helps me !

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am indeed fortunate to have so many good friends...and I love every one of them!

      Hmm...that's not a bad idea! I always tell Collin to take his umbrella so it won't rain....

      Vicks is obviously very popular!

      Delete
  6. You got me to thinking Norma. I have made no arrangements for my passing. A request to be buried with a jar of Vicks Vapo-rub may behoove.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since I'm going to be cremated, I think I'll request that my ashes be put IN a jar of Vicks!

      Delete
  7. As sick as you were, you still managed to crack enough jokes on the way home that John and I were in stitches. And it was great to see Collin. I hadn't seen him in a long time. You did look terrible sick though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should have seen me the next day, Carole. I really looked icky!

      Collin was happy to see the two of you as well!

      Delete
  8. Here's to a speedy recovery and thank goodness it wasn't a UTI or whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ugh that sounds awful. I've been fighting a cold these last few days and trying like heck to stave it off so I can enjoy Nashville.
    Glad you're feeling better Norma!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I hear this is going around, PK--be careful!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Don't know what's going on. A couple I know had something like this. His wife was home a few days with it.
    Good to know your eyes don't look like that any more, Norma--that was scary!!!
    Happy to hear you're back to health again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm puzzled, too. A friend told us today that two he knew had it--one so bad, she might end up in the hospital!

      I'm only at about 50% right now, but getting better every day.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, I've heard that some people get hit harder than others with whatever the eff it is (^;

      Delete
  12. How horrible! So glad you're feeling better and the worst is behind you:)! Enjoy that chicken, and eat a drumstick for me;).

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh my, I am sorry to read that you've been so terribly ill. My goodness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been told I looked even worse than I felt. I've been avoiding the mirror ever since!

      Delete
  14. Oh dear! :-( Hope this weekend finds you feeling a little bit better! Take care now! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, OK--I'm finally seeing the fog start to lift!

      Delete
  15. Glad your better. As you can see, I'm way behind in reading blogs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Been there myself!

      Now I have a sore throat and can barely swallow. The doctor says it was caused by too much coughing. If it's not one thing, it's another....

      Delete

Disagreements are welcome; trolls and spammers are not. Any and all comments by either of the latter two will be immediately deleted.