Saturday, February 7, 2015

From the Pages of the International Intruder: Facebook Felon Freed!

Good news! As of last night, my partner in crime is out of Facebook Jail and back to wreaking havoc across the internet! I couldn't resist penning a story for our faux Facebook tabloid, The International Intruder, incorporating comments from some of our fellow authors as we welcomed him back to the asylum while plotting the release of another friend and Facebook felon, Shelly Arkon....




FACEBOOK JAILBIRD FREED!!!

Exclusive to the Intruder: There were celebrations everywhere on the internet last night, from Facebook to Twitter to Google + to personal blogs as wrongly accused Facebook writer and blogging scoundrel William Kendall was finallly freed from Facebook Jail. When asked for comment, Kendall responded, "I'm back. Big as life and twice as ugly."

Fellow Writers Mayhem group member/author Alan Jankowski had this to say to Kendall of his release: "There were some people here who seemed to think you were never coming back...."

His other Facebook peers had much more to say about the situation that kept him off the pages for two long weeks. Notorious Writers Digest lifer Lin Robinson was in a surly mood. "I demand to be suspended so people don't think I'm a wimp. I'm not suspicious and dickish enough for them? This hurts, really."

This reporter echoes Robinson's feelings on the subject. I'm really starting to feel like a total failure. I'm the resident troublemaker! Why are the powers that be leaving me alone? Am I not trying hard enough?


Author Eve Gaal: "Je Suis William...just because there's no one home at the asylum doesn't mean you guys can get all naughty and scandalous...."

Author Lisa Taylor: "Well, I plan to write something horribly scandalous as soon as I can think of it."

Author Mark R. Hunter: "This should get at least ONE of us banned, and then I can write a column about it."

Before we resume the celebration, let me remind you that the fight for justice is not over. Author Shelly Arkon is still confined to Facebook Jail and in need of help in obtaining her release.

Author Michael Kizzia had this to say of Arkon's suspension: "Shelly is suspicious? What? Glowstick and Hairball hacked into something?"

Author Timothy Hurley: "You can get suspended for scrolling past a cat video...."

Anyone up for storming the Bastille?

9 comments:

  1. I shall be venturing into Twitter shortly for a few broadsides at them about Shelly's situation.

    This one's marvelous! I got a big smile out of reading this!

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    1. I thought you'd get a laugh from it--most of it was me quoting the discussion all of us had at Facebook yesterday!

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  2. Replies
    1. I'm thinking William and I could do a lot of stories like this involving people we know--not just Facebook felon stuff, but a broad range of humor pieces, with commentary from the people who know them well....

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  3. Craptastic! I sent a message to Blogger because some people are still having trouble getting in here and/or being able to comment since I registered the domain. Still haven't heard from Blogger and the problem still exists. Anybody who can't post here can probably get in over at WordPress. I duplicate my posts there.

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  4. Thanks for double posting because I don't want to miss a word! LOL

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    Replies
    1. I'm happy to hear everyone is enjoying it--it had 207 views on the Intruder's Facebook page!

      Next up: Facebook Felons' mug shots!

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