Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The Christmas Letter That Was a Long Time in Coming....

Merry Christmas!
 
I've always wanted to do a Christmas letter, but never quite got around to it. This year, I was determined to, in the words of that great observer of human nature--Larry the Cable Guy--get 'er done. I wish I could have posted this for those friends for whom I don't have a mailing or email address as it looks on the stationery I used (pretty cool, but I've had it a lonnnnng time and probably won't be able to buy it anymore).
 
(This is our 22nd year with our little tree.
I may write a book about it. Seriously.) 
 
2016 has been a mixed bag--and no, I'm not talking about the Presidential election. The less said about that, the better. Collin had to quit his job. After seventeen years of working in restaurants, he could barely walk. A bone scan showed arthritis in both feet and, to a lesser degree, both knees. That turned out to be a blessing in disguise. He left IHOP in July, and in September, started a new job. He now works at home, on the phone and computer. He has holidays off (yay!) and full benefits, including vacations and discounts at fun places like Universal Studios' theme parks! And now, he doesn't even limp--thank God!

As for me, I've come to the conclusion that getting old is like having the warranty expire on your car. Once you turn sixty, everything stops working. I have arthritis--first in my left knee, now pretty much everywhere. I need a cane to walk most of the time, but because of the arthritis in my hands, gripping the cane is difficult. I also have a hiatal hernia, which means my stomach isn't where it's supposed to be. Come to think of it, none of my innards are where they're supposed to be. I don't know why this surprises me.

I'm still epileptic. My brain still misfires on a regular basis. And I have another geezer curse: cataracts. Between the poor eyesight and the arthritic hands, I now have to dictate everything. If my mouth stops working, I'm in big trouble (though Collin might consider that a blessing)!

In spite of all the malfunctions, I'm still writing, to a degree. I'm reissuing all of my old books through an indie publisher. His expectations for them are much higher than mine. After all, most of them have been around for 20-30 years. Most of the readers who wanted to read them already have!

And with six of the books now available, what's getting the most positive attention? The weekly installments of Sucker-Punched, an episodic story about five brothers who are all pro wrestlers, here on my blog. Go figure.

We may be moving into a bigger place in the spring. I've been saying it's because Collin needs an office but the truth is that our Minion population has grown so much, they need their own room!
 
 
(And this isn't all of them. Not even close!)
 
This year, we will be having Christmas dinner at home--and no, not takeout, in spite of requests from the fire department that I not cook (they want to celebrate at home, too). Collin will be home, and he knows how to use the fire extinguishers.

It's just the two of us now. Dad's been gone 25 years (26 as of next month); we lost Mom 18 years ago. All of our non-human family members have crossed the Rainbow Bridge--Sam Too was the last, five years ago. Collin and I will have a (hopefully) nice dinner and watch Christmas movies all day. Our Christmas wish for you is a peaceful, happy day with family and close friends. Be thankful, and grateful for those you still have with you.
 
 
 
 

23 comments:

  1. What a nice Christmas letter, Norma! Wishing you and Collin a wonderful Christmas and happy surprises in the New Year.

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    1. Thanks, Lynn--and a Merry Christmas and Happy 2017 to you as well!

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  2. Nice letter and I'm so glad Collin is feeling better; his at-home job sounds must have helped. Merry Christmas to both of you and all the minions too.

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  3. My dear friend, this was so well-written, funny, honest, and just all you. Thanks for posting it and thanks for all you do to inspire me.

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    1. Thank you, Ivy! I confess, after I wrote it, I thought of a dozen things I should have said--but then, the letter would have been a book!

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    2. And if it were a book, I still would have read it. That being said, this was perfect.

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  4. Terrific Christmas letter! And very funny!

    That's a whole lot of Minions, you know. One more and they can launch their world domination plans.

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    1. Thanks, partner!

      We have about 200 Minions now. We can't find a twelve-step program for Minion addiction!

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  5. What a lovely letter. We need to talk and match up our health
    problems ! hahahahahahahahahaha
    Nice to hear how well Collin is doing and feeling. Happy to know his job is working out !
    I knew the second you mentioned a bigger home that the Minions need more room.
    Loved your letter.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. I sent you the printed one. You should have it in a couple of days. And I got yours--you do such beautiful work!

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  6. Thanks for the letter. Most people move to larger quarters because of children, not minions. A very Merry and blessed Christmas to you and Colin.

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    1. Collin and I, we like to be different. Collin's only complaint is that he can't take the Minions as dependents on his tax returns!

      Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Mari!

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  7. I love your Christmas letter Norma, I can relate totally to the issues as we get older ☺ after five straight hours in my garden my body is definitely screaming 'what are you thinking' at me, but hey as long as I can, I will! Love the sound of your Christmas, mine will not be so relaxed but having the grandchildren to stay will be fantastic ☺

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    1. Having small children around for Christmas is certainly not quiet but always fun! I always loved the look on Collin's face on Christmas morning!

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  8. Glad Collin's situation turned out so well! And cataract surgery is a lot easier nowadays and does wonders for your vision. This is the season I am always grateful for blessings of life. I'm always surprised at how many I've received.

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    1. I'm hesitant on the surgery because I'm already blind on the left side. If anything happens to the right eye, if anything were to go wrong in surgery....

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  9. Merry Christmas to you both! (and minions as well, or do they observe?)

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    1. You too, Lorelei! We assume the Minions observe, since some of them are wearing Santa hats and bearing gifts.

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  10. Very nice! Have a wonderful Christmas Day! Hoping I get an arm bone. SOON!

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    1. Dear Santa: Could you please give Shelly a new arm bone for Christmas? She's been very good this year....

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