Saturday, September 30, 2017

Barf Bags and Fossilized Pizza

I was going to post this yesterday, but Collin, who never gets sick (I've asked him more than once when the mothership is returning for him), actually got sick. He missed work yesterday and was sent home today, right after he got there. The health department, it seems, frowns upon restaurant employees puking on the job.


He's been having gastrointestinal issues for the past week. Hard to believe, since this is my baby boy, who would put leftovers from restaurant meals in his backpack and eat them a week later, when he remembered he had them. I always thought it would be my cooking or fossilized pizza that brought him down.

He's in bed now, where he's been since he got home. His doctor prescribed a bland diet and lots of fluids for now. A bland diet is good. Easier to clean up when it won't stay down.


Anyway, my post for yesterday--today--was planned to be about my latest visit to my neurologist. Ever since I learned, back in June, that I'd had a tiny stroke, I've been apprehensive. I watched my mom suffer through multiple major strokes until she could no longer do anything for herself and didn't recognize Collin or me. I expected the worst. Going to sleep at night became a cliffhanger. I wondered if I'd even wake up in the morning.

That all changed on Wednesday.

After a thorough examination, my doctor told me that the spells I've been having--periodic speech problems, tremors, zero concentration, short-term memory issues--are not TIAs (transient ischemic attacks) but seizures. Mind you, seizures are no picnic--even mine, which are not the convulsions most people associate with epilepsy--but I'll take seizures over strokes any day. It's like the 2016 election, with Hillary Clinton being the seizures and Donald Trump being the strokes. You don't really want either one, but better to go with the one that will do the least amount of damage. You can't fix strokes.

I told her that I haven't been able to write for some time time now, beyond blog posts and obnoxious comments on Facebook. What once came so easily is now a struggle. I've considered giving up. Actually, I gave up more than once. I considered taking on ghostwriters. I have the ideas, I just haven't been able to turn the ideas into complete novels. And then I told myself it was time to retire, stop and smell the roses and all that.

I told myself the market isn't what it used to be. I'm not the writer I used to be. I'm not interested in doing the kind of books that end up on the bestseller lists anymore. There are more writers and fewer readers now. I've used every excuse in the book. But the truth is, I want to write. I just can't.

My doctor thinks that may not be a permanent issue. Seizures not strokes, right? It can be fixed. I can be fixed. Maybe. A change in meds, and time will tell....


18 comments:

  1. Never give up. Well maybe on obnoxious comments. Lol. Hope Collin feels better soon. I'll remember him in a prayer today.

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  2. I think there's still a story in you to tell Norma! Have a notepad and pen at the ready at all times, every time an idea pops into your head jot it down, enough ideas may just be enough to jog you into another of your fabulous storylines! I don't think you're finished yet! ☺

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    1. I haven't used a notepad in years, which might be part of the problem. I wrote all of my existing novels in longhand. But I have tremors in my hands, so that's a problem (most of the time).

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    2. How about a tape recorder of some sort???

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  3. I can see that your are a wonderful writer. I see that in every post on your blog. You have a way with words and can spin a story.
    Do not give up !
    I have become my worst fears and it is no fun. Things that use to take a hour now take me a day. I am coming out of a 3 year valley and I am trying to do better. One step at a time.
    I see stories in your life. So get a recorder and start talking into it with your thoughts and ideas. Have someone write them down for you.

    You are a super blog friend.
    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Thanks, Gayle. I've been fortunate to have excellent medical care. I pray you do as well.

      One thing I've discovered is that I have to outline now.

      I have to make notes for everything, actually. I can't go out alone anymore, so all of my errands have to be done on Collin's days off. If I forget anything, it's postponed until the following week. Right now, I have a prescription waiting at the drugstore that's been there almost a week.

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  4. Tea and toast for Collin. Just give yourself time with the writing, and like you say, seizures are something you can live with better than strokes.

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    1. He seems to be doing better now, but I'm not sure he's ready to go back to work.

      Yes, I've lived with the seizures for a long time now. They're a nuisance, but I've known people who have tonic clonic (grand mal) seizures, which really take a toll on the brain.

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  5. Yogurt is good too. That puts the good bacteria back in the gut. I pray your new medicine works. My mother had TIAs for years. It did make her a bit more short tempered, but nothing major until the big one hit. From that there wasn't a recovery. You are correct. The seizures are annoying, but they do not do the same damage.

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    1. My mom had TIAs. Then one morning, she complained that her arm was numb. Then, she couldn't stand up. In the hospital, she had a second stroke. Her personality changed completely. She went from friendly and outgoing to being shy and afraid.

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  6. So sorry for Colin! And you for having to take care of him!

    Seizures sounds terrible but you're right: it's a much better diagnosis than strokes. So I'll be happy for you.

    And one of these days, you'll get back to writing. I firmly believe that!

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    1. Collin is, fortunately, easy to take care of. He's never been a whiner. He'll ask for something if I'm already up and heading for the kitchen. Most of the time, I have to ask him if he wants something to eat or drink.

      As for the writing, I know I have to make some changes to accommodate the issues I have. The weird part is that I've been epileptic since I was sixteen. The seizures are worse now. Still better than strokes, though.

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  7. Poor Colin. Puking is awful enough, but the bland diet offers no joy in food. Ew. I can't believe I just said that.

    Hang in there, Norma. Maybe the seizures are stirring up new cool writing projects for you to tackle in the tremors' aftermath.

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    1. He feels the same way--but the good news is that he was up for going to work today. If he's still in good shape when he gets home....

      I read a book on temporal lobe seizures that claims Moses and other prophets and visionaries had TLE. How they know this, I'm not sure--but if they're right, at least I'm in good company!

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  8. Deff don't want Trump (strokes).
    Hoping time will help the writing come back. You do need to try and enjoy those little things in life... like TV. Hoping Collin is better soon!

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