Thursday, January 4, 2018

Memo to the Guy in Charge of the Muses

To Whom it May Concern:

If you're in charge of the Muses, I wish to make a complaint. The one you sent me is a pain in the A. For the past twenty years now, I've been trying to develop Chasing the Wind as a series--books, TV, whatever sells first (assuming either one succeeds--these days, you couldn't get odds in Vegas). From the time the idea was conceived, back in April 1998, I knew it was not going to be a single title. Okay, maybe not from the beginning, but close to it. I went through rewrites, revisions, changing plotlines, characters, relationships. I added material, subtracted material. I came up with sequels. I considered dropping it entirely. I switched from third person point of view to multiple first person POV.


When Collin and I finally published the first version in 2008, I had removed a lot of material that was supposed to be the sequel. Still trying to finish that. Or maybe not. At any rate, my muse has been of no help whatsoever. In fact, she's almost never around, let alone doing her job. Whatever she's being paid, it's too much. Muses are not paid to watch soap operas all day. Or are they?

New Year's Eve--or maybe I should say New Year's morning--was the last straw. I missed the ball drop, having fallen asleep--upright, I was so exhausted--so I went to bed. Shortly after one a.m., my muse finally arrived, and in a talkative mood. She kept pestering me until I got out my phone and started making notes--for a twenty-five part series incorporating (but not starting with) Chasing the Wind. I was not amused. What time zone does she think this is, anyway?

 
Oh, sure, I'm happy to have the thing finally plotted, and in such detail, but do you have any idea what this means? Does she? I can't just unpublish the original novel to restructure the whole thing. Or maybe I can, but I don't want to. I got some pretty darn good reviews on that one. Do you know how difficult it is to get people to write reviews, even short ones, even when they love the book? I think I could hold them at gunpoint and still get nothing. Anyway, I'm no spring chicken. I might not even live long enough to write all of those books. Couldn't Ms. Muse have given me all of this twenty years ago, before my brain decided to retire? It would have been helpful.

All of this inspiration, and nowhere to go. By the way, I'm still trying to catch up on that lost sleep.

Sincerely yours, 
Disgruntled Author

 

 

19 comments:

  1. Oh no! Guilty, guilty as charged! I DID love your books Norma and I am going to write that review this weekend for sure, life has this horrible way of getting in the way of anything constructive I try to do 😱 I absolutely don't blame you for feeling disgruntled, I really enjoyed the way you wrote this post, even if you were telling me off 😀

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    1. Oh, that wasn't aimed at you, Grace! That's a common complaint among authors. I'd seen it posted on Facebook several times just before I wrote this. Another friend wrote about it in the comments on one of my previous posts just before I wrote this.

      I don't even ask fellow authors to review my books anymore because I can't reciprocate. My eyesight is really bad, so I dictate my stuff most of the time and the only books I "read" these days are audiobooks.

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  2. The Muse can be a fickle pain in the neck, can't she? Particularly at the most inconvenient of times.

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    1. Oh, yes! I think they all work on Greek time.

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  3. Didn't you mention something about voice recognition software or whatever, where you read the stories and it turns into typed pages? ⚘

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    1. I dictate on my phones and the two latest Kindles. It's almost flawless!

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  4. At least my muse (or the characters in the books) appear during the day. I doubt if they could wake me at night. I will review The Unicorn's Daughter when I finish it. On Chapter 10 right now. That means it will be a while. No, I won't ask for another review.

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  5. I think people don't know they can leave a comment on books there at Amazon. I've asked and found they've commented on facebook, somewhere. And, if you aren't a customer at Amazon, you can't leave a comment. But for sure, lots of people who buy have no idea that a good review would be nice.

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    1. I've noticed some reviews not a "verified purchase" get deleted.

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  6. Yes, inspiration always seems to come at the most inconvenient times, doesn't it? All I can advise, now that your project's laid out, is to start on it and work on it. After all, soap operas can't entertain you every day, all the time! And whether you're annoyed with your muse or not, at least she came through!

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    1. For me, inspiration usually comes in the middle of the night. I think my muse is on Greek time!

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  7. I do not think I ever had a muse... and if I did she left a long time again.
    How is your hand and finger ? much better I hope.

    cheers, parsnip and mandibles

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  8. Inspiration does come when you least expect it:). A friend of mine jokes that her muse is on vacation in Paris most of the time! Mine visits me usually when I'm about to fall asleep.

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    1. Mine almost always shows up at night--either when I'm about to fall asleep, or in the middle of the night.

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  9. Hi Norma, how are you and Collin doing? I remember you saying that Collin had a few medical problems, is he much better and back at work or still home?

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    1. He's doing very well--has a new work from home job and can once again walk without the cane!

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  10. You made me laugh when you
    wished to file a complaint.
    That was funny.

    I'm reading the above comment.
    Glad no more cane! Hot dog.

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