Monday, April 30, 2018

Barney the Dinosaur on Steroids?

I get into trouble for giving away too much in my movie reviews, so I'll just point you to William's great review of Marvel's Avengers: Infinity War, while I reveal all the things you WON'T be seeing in the movie....

1. Thanos is revealed to be the older, meaner brother of lovable purple dinosaur Barney. Thanos is an example of what hate and steroids can do to one's body and mind....


2. Upon arriving on Earth, Rocket Raccoon meets hundreds of other raccoons, starting the Raccoon Revolution with weapons made from junk found in dumpsters (after watching several episodes of MacGyver)....

3. Valkyrie hitches a ride with the Ravagers. She teaches them an Asgardian drinking game and the result is the galaxy's first DUI.... 

4. Deadpool invades the Marvel Cinematic Universe and steals the Infinity Gauntlet. After removing the stones, he makes a few alterations to the Gauntlet and leaves it as a message to Thanos--a single-finger salute....



5. In the heat of battle, Star-Lord is thrown into a landfill--where he discovers a very old milk carton with his picture on it....



6. Thanos is offered a contract with the WWE, but loses his first match to Ronda Rousey....

7. Aunt May, furious that Tony Stark has put her nephew, Peter Parker, in danger, takes down Thanos, making him cry like a little girl; she also beats up Tony Stark.  

 

10 comments:

  1. I think the Rocket Raccoon thing is the scariest.

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    1. Now how much trouble could that sweet little furball cause, Mark?

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    2. Plenty, once he organizes the rest of them!

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    3. Ah...nothing scarier than organized raccoons!

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  2. I can see Aunt May giving Thanos a whuppin'!

    Strangely, I hadn't thought of it before... but Rocket pretty much is MacGyver!

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    Replies
    1. I pictured her chasing him with a broom, demanding to know what he did with her nephew.

      Maybe MacGyver is Rocket's role model!

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  3. Good for Auntie May! And may Thanos be an example for all steroid users!

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    Replies
    1. That Thanos is one seriously ugly dude!

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  4. LOL, that's so funny. I didn't even see the movie and I enjoyed this post.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! We aim to induce laughter!

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