Thursday, June 28, 2018

I'm Ready for the Indy 500 (Feet)

Yep, it's come to this. I now own a walker--not a loaner. Mine. It's an early birthday present from Collin. Nice, huh? And it has cupholders! There are two, because he needs one for his cup. 

I seem to have become a world class klutz. Falling on the floor was one thing. The torn rotator cuff was showing some progress--until I tripped in our laundry room while moving stuff from the storeroom for our church's rummage sale.

I crashed into the wall. My left shoulder, the one with the torn rotator cuff, hit hard. Feels like I'm back to square one. Ouch!

At least I managed to avert a faceplant on a floor that was overdue for a date with Miss Mop. This is what I get for years of making fun of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" ads on TV. 

I wanted a geezer scooter, but both my primary care doctor and my orthopedic surgeon vetoed that idea. "I never let my patients get  scooters," Dr. B. told me. "It shortens your lifespan. You turn into a plant."

I'm already a plant--a Venus Flytrap!

Dr. Z. says he only approves scooters for patients heading for nursing homes. "Have you picked on out yet?" he asked.

At first, I thought he was asking if I'd picked out a scooter. I had--a scooter built for two, so Collin could drive. Then, I realized he was asking if I'd chosen a nursing home! 

My orthopedic doctor approved me for a walker because my knees are, as he put it, pretty bad. Life can change so quickly--just a few short years ago, I was being mistaken for Collin's wife or girlfriend or sister. I still don't have any wrinkles, but let's face it--nothing says "old" like cruising around with a walker, even if it does have cupholders!

Maybe I should be doing TV ads for Life Alert....


  1. My knees began going at 50. I knew if I didn't do something quick I'd be using a walker. I began taking glucosamine chondroitin, and that worked great, although I still have pain some times, and have to deal. I'd already had a bout of gout and ate cherries to get rid of it. So, I really know what it's like to have to worry about falling, or not being able to walk. I've had problems with ballance as well, I don't know how long I'll be able to keep driving a bus, at this stage. I'm definitely not going to be able to do that past 67 (I'll be 64 this year). I hope to not have to.
    Good luck with the walker, Norma. Stay safe.

    1. My problem is that when I fall, I can't get back up on my own.

      You too, Lorelei.

  2. The question is, can you set a speed record for the 500 feet with one of those?

    The doctor's right- no scooter!

    1. Probably with the scooter. I'm just not that fast with the walker!

      That's the problem with my doctor. She's always right.

  3. You should really consider doing those ads. Without wrinkles you're a living testimony.Plus I keep seeing those posts about models who started in their 60s.Anyway, it sounds like a backup plan! Lol

    1. I'd be doing the "I've fallen and can't get up" type of ads....

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